Karaoké Talkin' Song Repair Blues Alan Jackson

The mechanic raised up from under my hood

And he shook his head and said this ain't good

Your timin' belt's done shrunk one size too small

And those spark plug wires are a little too long

And your main prodsponder's nearly gone

Your injector ports are stripped and that ain't all

The torque converter's runnin' low on torque

And that water pump's nearly down a quart

But we caught it all in time so you're in luck

He said I've got the time and I've got the parts

Just give me the word and I'm ready to start

I think we can bring her in for eight hundred bucks

But don't be downhearted

I can fix it for you Sonny

It won't take too long it'll just take money

Then he said aren't you that songwriter guy?

I said yes I am he said so am I

He sat down and played me a song by the grease rack

When he finished singin' he gave me a smile

And I closed my eyes and pondered awhile

He said what do you think? now don't hold nothin' back

Well I gave him my most sorrowful look

And I said this song's got a broken hook

I can order a new one from

Nashville but it won't be cheap

And I know you've been using a cut-rate thesaurus

'Cos your adverbs have backed up into your chorus

Now your verse is runnin' on verbs that are way too weak

But don't be downhearted

I can fix it for you Sonny

It won't take too long it'll just take money

And I said hold on friend

I'm not through

I hate to be the one to give you this news

But your whole melodic structure's worked itself loose

It's got so many dotted eighth notes in it

I'd keep her under fifty beats per minute

I mean that's just me talkin' it's really up to you

You've got a bad safety problem with

That dominant chord with the augmented fifth

Just see how dangerously high it raises you up

So just go on over and work on my car

And I'll sit here by the fan and chances are

I can straighten this thing out for eight nine hundred bucks

But don't be downhearted

I can fix it for you Sonny it won't take too long

You guessed it well it may be a hit

I like it