Karaoké Everyone's a Little Bit Racist Avenue Q (musical)

Say, Kate

Can I ask you a question?

Sure

Well, you know Trekkie

Monster upstairs?

Uh uh

Well, he's Trekkie Monster and you're Kate Monster

Right

You're both Monsters

Yeah

Are you two related?

What?

Princeton, I'm surprised at you

I find that racist

Oh, well I'm sorry

I was just asking

Well, it's a touchy subject

No, not all monsters are related

What are you trying to say, uh that we all look the same to you

No, no, no, no

Oh, not at all

Oh I'm sorry

I guess that was a little racist

I should say so

You should be much more careful when you're talking about the sensitive subject of race

What?

Well, look who's talking

What do you mean

What about that special Monster school you told me about

What about it

Well could someone like me go there

No

We don't want people like you

Ha ha ha ha ha you see

You're a little bit racist

Well, you're a little bit too

I guess we're both a little bit racist

Admitting it is not an easy thing to do

But I guess it's true

Between me and you

I think everyone's a little bit racist sometimes

Doesn't mean we go around committing hate crimes

Look around and you will find no one's really color blind

Maybe it's a fact we all should face

Everyone makes judgments based on race

No, not big judgments like who to hire or who to buy a newspaper from

No

No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican busboys should learn to speak goddamn English, right

Everyone's a little bit racist today

So, everyone's a little bit racist, okay

Ethnic jokes might be uncouth but you laugh because they're based on truth

Don't take them as personal attacks

Everyone enjoys them so relax

All right, stop me if you've heard this one

Okay

Alright there's a plane going down

Uh uh there's only one parachute and there's a rabbi, a priest and a black guy

Yeah

What you talkin' about Kate?

Uh

You were telling a black joke

Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes

I don't

Well, of course you don't, you're black

But I bet you tell

Polack jokes, right

Well, sure I do, ha ha those stupid Polacks

Now, don't you think that's a little racist, uh

Well damn, I guess you're right

You're a little bit racist

Well, you're a little bit too

We're all a little bit racist

I think that I would have to agree with you

We're glad you do

It's sad but true

Everyone's a little bit racist, all right

All right, all right all right

Bigotry has never been exclusively white

If we all could just admit that we are racist a little bit

Even though we all know that it's wrong

Maybe it would help us get along

Oh, Christ, do I feel good

Now there was a fine upstanding black man

Eh eh eh

Who?

Jesus Christ

But Gary, Jesus was white

No, Jesus was black

No, Jesus was white

No, I'm pretty sure

Jesus was black

Guys, guys

Jesus was Jewish

Ah ah ah ah ah ah

Ah ah ah ah ah

Hey guys

What are you laughing about?

Racism

Cool

Brian, come back here

You take out lecycuraburs

What's that mean?

Hum, recyclables

Hey, don't laugh at her

How many languages do you speak?

Oh, come off it, Brian

Everyone's a little bit racist

I'm not

Oh no

Nope, uh

How many Oriental wives have you got?

What

Brian

Brian, buddy, where you been

The term is Asian-American

I know you are no intending to be

But calling me Oriental offensive to me

I'm sorry, honey

I love you

And I love you

But you're racist, too

Yeah

I know

The Jews have all the money and the whites have all the power

And I'm always in taxi cab with driver who no shower

Me too

Me too

I can't even get a taxi

Everyone's a little bit racist it's true

But everyone is just about as racist as you

If we all could just admit that we are racist a little bit

And everyone stopped being so PC

Maybe we could live in harmony

Everyone's a little bit lacist