Karaoké Otto Titsling Bette Midler (Beaches)

Otto Titsling inventor and kraut

Had nothing to get very worked up about

His inventions were failures his future seemed bleak

He fled to the opera at least twice a week

One night at the opera he saw an Aida

Whose bust were so big it would often impede her

Bug eyed he watched her fall into the pit

Done in by the weight of those terrible tits

Oh my god there she blows

Aerodynamically this girl was a mess

Otto eyeballed the diva lying

Comatose amongst the reeds

And he suddenly felt the fire of inspiration flood his soul

He ran back to his workshop where he futzed and futzed and futzed

For Otto Titsling had found his quest

To lift and mold the female breast

To point the small ones to the sky

To keep the big ones high and dry

Every night he'd sweat and snort

Searching for the right support

He tried some string and paper clips

Hey he even tried his own two lips

Well he stitched and he slaved and he slaved and he stitched

Until finally one night in the wee hours of morning

Otto arose from his workbench triumphant

Yes he had invented the worlds first

Over the shoulder boulder holder, hooray

Exhausted but ecstatic Otto ran down to the diva bearing

The prototype in his hot little hand

Now the diva did not want to try the darn thing on

But after many initial mishapps she finally did

And the sigh of relief that issued forth

From her mouth was so loud

That it was mistaken by some to be the early onset of the Siroccan Winds

Which would often roll through the Schwarzwald

With a vengeance woah, ah

But little did Otto know at the moment of his greatest triumph

Lurking under the diva's bed was none other

Than the very worst of the French patent thieves

Philippe DeBrassiere and Phil was

Watching the scene with a great deal of interest

Later that night while our Brun Hilda slept

Into the wardrobe

Philippe softly crept

He fumbled through knickers and corsets galore

'Til he found Otto's Titsling and he ran out the door

Crying oh my god what joy what bliss

I'm gonna make me a million from this

Every woman in the world will wanna buy one

I will have all the goods manufactured in Taiwan

The result of this swindle is pointedly clear

Do you buy a Titsling or do you buy a brassiere ooh