Karaoké D.I.V.O.R.C.E. Billy Connolly

Our little dog is six years old and he's smart as any damn kid

But when you mention the V.E.T. he damn near flips his lid

Words like S.H.O.T. shot or W.O.R.M. worm

These are words that make him S.Q.U.I.R.M. squirm

His Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.E. starts today

Because he bit the V.E.T. and then he ran away

He caused me and my wife to have a big fight and then both of them bit me

And that's why I am gonna get a D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

She shouted "Get him Rover" and he jumped over and bit my L.E.G.

She sank her teeth in my B.U.M. and called me a

Well I'm telling you that was my cue to get O.F.F.-ski

And I'm going down to the town tonight to get a new B.I.R.D.

Oh yes his

Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.E. starts today

Both my wife and my wee scabby dog will soon be hauled away

That's why I spell out all of these words so as my dog can't hear

Oh I must admit that dog is acting Q.U.E.R. queer

Oh yes I must admit my dog is acting Q.U.E.R. queer