Karaoké I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks Bloodhound Gang

Mmh

If your ass is a Chinese restaurant

I'll have the poo-poo platter

My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class

Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass

I said Guys I'm like you

I like Monster Trucks too

Wanna see how many push-ups

I can do

I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Dig guys that are queer

Guys that don't dig chicks

That don't dig guys like me

See I'm not queer, I'm too ugly

But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be

Incognito as a gay though but not actually that way

A pseudo-homo-phony

Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity but if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry

Scorin' with a supermodel would be easy

'Cos Supermodel means voluptuous but also is synonymous with Super dumb

You see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become

That trusted friend that cares

That rubs her back and braids her hair

No it wouldn't take a week before I'm in her underwear

I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Dig guys that are queer

Guys that don't dig chicks

That don't dig guys like me

See I'm not queer, I'm too ugly

Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes

The only smoked meat

The only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean

See I'm not too keen on the smell of Vaseline

No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen

I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Anyway if I were gay

I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis

Hang out with my mom's hair stylist

His name is Kip, he's got a lisp

He talks like thith

And wear my mother's lingerie and learn the songs of Broadway and appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet

I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Dig guys that are queer

Guys that don't dig chicks

Dig guys that are queer

Guys that don't dig chicks

Dig guys that are queer

Guys that don't dig chicks

That don't dig guys like me

See I'm not queer, I'm too ugly

And I don't shave my heiney

Don't shave my heiney

See I'm not queer, I'm too ugly

And I don't shave my heiney

Don't shave my heiney

See I'm not queer, I'm too ugly

And I don't shave my heiney

Don't shave my heiney

See I'm not queer, I'm too ugly