Karaoké Country Song (Pandering - live) Bo Burnham

It is the exact opposite of honest

Where instead of people actually tellin' their stories you've got a bunch of millionaire metrosexuals

Who've never done a hard day's work in their lives but

They've figured out the words and phrases they can use to pander to their audience

And they list the same words and phrases

All sort of mad-lib style in every song

Rakin' in millions of dollars from an actual workin' class people

You know the words

You know the phrases

Phrases like

A dirt road

A cold beer

A blue jeans

A red pickup

A rural noun

Simple adjectives

No shoes

No shirt

No Jews

You didn't hear that

Sort of a mental typo

I walk and talk like a field hand but the boots I'm wearin' cost three grand

I write songs about ridin' tractors from the comfort of a private jet

I could sing in Mandarin

You'd still know I'm panderin'

Huntin' deer

Chasin' trout

A Bud Light with the logo facin' out

Hear that subtle mandolin

That's textbook panderin'

I own a private ranch that I rarely use

I don't like dirt

One verse

One chorus in the bag

Now it's time to talk to the ladies

I'm hopin' my Southern charm offsets all these rape-y vibes

I'm puttin' out

Good girl in a straw hat

With her arms out in a corn field

That is a scarecrow

Thought it was a human woman

Sorry

A cold night

A cold beer

A cold jeans

Strike that last one

I'm wantin' you

I hope you're feelin' me

Subtextually

We go to bed

You doze off

So I take your country girl clothes off

I put my hands on your body

It feels like hay

It's a fuckin' scarecrow again

Like Mike's Evander-in'

Fuck your ears

I'm panderin'

I write songs for the people who do jobs in the towns that I'd never move to

Legalize gerrymanderin'

Tolerate my panderin'

You got a beautiful mouth

I got a beautiful

You dumb motherfuckers want a key change

Thematically meanderin'

Emphatically panderin'

I got a tight grip on my demo's balls

Say the word "truck"

They jizz in their overalls

You don't know what land you're in

I'm in the land of panderin'

And I'll be upfront

I do what I do 'cos I'm a total fuckin' cunt-ry boy