Karaoké Five Years Bo Burnham

Hey baby

Uh, it's me

Mmh, our anniversary's comin' up

It's a pretty big one

And, mmh

I wrote a song for you

So I'm just leaving you this voicemail because

I want the song to begin with this voicemail

Like I want the voicemail to play at the beginning of it

So, if you could just download this voicemail when you get it

And then text it to me

Mmh, you might need to like download another app to download the

I don't know if you can rip your voicemail right off your phone

You might need to like

Just Google it

Don't call me and ask me

'Cos I know

I know what you're gonna do

You're gonna

You're gonna get this

And you're gonna just think you can't do it

And you're gonna call me

But then

I'm just gonna Google it

So just you Google it

You're an adult you can figure it out

Mmh, so just figure it out and text me the voicemail

Mmh, immediately if you wouldn't mind

Like right when you get this

Thank you, mmh

I love you, bye

You're my best friend

I love you

You know me and I know you

We got problems that we've been through

We got shit that we'll get through, uh

You think I'm rude to you

You think I am the worst

Because I ask when you suck my dick

You take out your

Invisalign first

Come on

Five years

Five years

Still you, still me still here

Five years

Five years, baby

Five years

Five years

We order Chinese

I'm eating my dumplings

You reach over and you take my dumplings

You don't even say

Do you mind or nothing

Why would you assume that you're entitled to a dumpling

So I look at you

You look back at me like what the fuck did I do

If you really wanted some dim sum, then

You really should've gotten some

When we put in the order

You say

You're a psycho and I-I don't wanna fight

So

Let's just drop this it's not a big deal

Okay, but for the record

You owe me a dumpling

I mean it

I won't forget

You owe me a dumpling or a dumpling equivalent

Five years

Five years

Still you, still me still here

Five years

Five years, baby

Five years

Five years

We found a spider in the house

You freaked and you jumped up onto the couch

Since I was close and able

I jumped up on the coffee table

You said

You should kill that

I said

Mmh no, fuck that

You said

Come on, be a man

What?

You're a total anti-sexist a patriarchy fighter

But your whole worldview collapses

The moment there's a spider

Cool

I get it this is the real you

It's a pleasure nice to meet you

Shit like this brings the movement down

Everyone's a feminist until there is a spider around

Five years

Five years

Still you, still me still here

Five years

Five years, baby

Five years

Five years

How come every time

I need to take a poo in the bathroom

You out of the blue need to use the bathroom

Just use the guest room bathroom

That's why we got two bathrooms

Just use the guest room bathroom

That's why we got two bathrooms

And you know