Karaoké From God's Perspective Bo Burnham

The books you think I wrote are way too thick

Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn't be a dick

And I don't watch you when you sleep

Surprisingly I don't use my omnipotence to be a fuckin' creep

You're not goin' to heaven

Why the fuck would you think

I'd ever kick it with you

None of you are goin' to heaven

There's a trillion aliens cooler than you

You shouldn't abstain from rape just 'cos you think that I want you to

You shouldn't rape 'cos rape is a fucked up thing to do

Pretty obvious

Just don't fuckin' rape people please

Didn't think I had to write that one down for you

I don't think masturbation is obscene

It's absolutely natural and the weirdest fuckin' thing

I've ever seen

You make my job a livin' hell and I sent gays to fix overpopulation and boy did that go well

You're not goin' to heaven

Eat a thousand crackers

Sing a million hymns

None of you are goin' to heaven

You're not my children

You're a bad game of Sims

You shouldn't abstain from pork just 'cos you think that I want you to

You can eat pork 'cos why the fuck would I give a shit

I created the universe

Think I'd draw the line at the fuckin' deli aisle

You argue and you bicker and you fight

Atheists and Catholics

Jews and Hindus argue day and night

Over what they think is true

But no one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you

You pray so badly for heaven knowin' any day might be the day that you die

But maybe life on earth could be heaven

Doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try

My love's the type of thing that you have to earn and when you earn it you won't need it

My love's the type of thing that you have to earn and when you earn it you won't need it

I'm not gonna give you love just 'cos I know that you want me to

If you want love then the love's gonna come from you