Karaoké Wolf Creek Pass C.W. McCall

Me and Earl was haulin' chickens on the flatbed out of Wiggins and we'd spent all night on the uphill side

Of thirty-seven miles of hell called Wolf Creek Pass which is up on the Great Divide

We was sittin' there suckin' toothpicks

Drinkin' Nehis and onion soup mix

And I says Earl let's mail a card to mother and then send them chickens on down to the other side

Yeah let's give 'em a ride

Well Earl put down his bottle and mashed his foot down on the throttle

And then a couple of boobs with a thousand cubes

In a ninteen forty-eight

Peterbilt screamed to life

We woke up the chickens

We roared up off of that shoulder

Sprayin' pine cones rocks, and boulders

And put four hundred head of them Rhode Island Reds and a couple of burnt-out roosters on the line

Look out below 'cos here we go

Well we commenced to truckin' and them hens commenced to cluckin'

And then Earl took out a match and scratched his pants

And lit up the unused half of a dollar cigar and took a puff

Says My ain't this pretty up here

I says Earl this hill can spill us

You better slow down or you gon' kill us

Just make one mistake and it's the pearly gates for them eighty-five crates of USDA-approved cluckers

You wanna hit second

Wooh

Well Earl grabbed on the shifter and he stabbed her into fifth gear

And then the chromium-plated fully-illuminated genuine accessory shift knob come right off in his hand

I says You wanna screw that thing back on Earl

He was tryin' to thread it on there when the fire fell off of his cigar and dropped on down sorta rolled around

And then lit the cuff of Earl's pants and burned a hole in his sock

Yeah sorta set him right on fire

I looked on out of the window and I started countin' phone poles

Goin' by at the rate of four to the seventh power

Well I put two and two together and added twelve and carried five

Come up with twenty-two thousand telephone poles an hour

I looked at Earl and his eyes was wide

His lip was curled and his leg was fried

And his hand was froze to the wheel like a tongue to a sled in the middle of a blizzard

I says Earl I'm not the type to complain but the time has come for me to explain

That if you don't apply some brake real soon they're goin' to have to pick us up with a stick and a spoon

Well Earl rared back and cocked his leg

Stepped down as hard as he could on the brake

And the pedal went clear to the floor and stayed right there on the floor

He couldn't step on it

He says it was sorta like steppin' on a plum

Well from there on down it just wasn't real pretty

It was hairpin county and switchback city

One of 'em looked like a can full of worms

Another one looked like malaria germs

Right in the middle of the whole damn show was a real nice tunnel

Now wouldn't you know

Sign says clearance to the twelve foot line but the chickens was stacked to thirteen nine

Well we shot that tunnel at a hundred and ten like gas through a funnel and eggs through a hen

And we took that top row of chickens off slicker than the scum off a Louisiana swamp

Went down and around and around and down 'till we ran out of ground at the edge of town

Bashed into the side of the feed store

Downtown Pagosa Springs