Karaoké X-M@$ Corey Taylor

Oh ho ho ho

Uh huh uh huh uh uh

Ah hah Jesus

There ain't nothin' more depressin' than a pine tree gussied up with candy canes and balls

Those carolers have kept me up for hours

It's Merry Christmas seepin' through my walls

Now I'm no Wiccan commie nut or nothin' but there's one damn holiday that I can't stand

It ain't Halloween or Thanksgiving or even April Fools but it'll surely make a fool out of every man

Hah

If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas

You know where to stick those jingle bells

If I ain't hammered it ain't Hanukkah

And all you motherfuckers go to hell

If I ain't cockeyed it ain't Kwanzaa

Joy to the world of Jack and Coke

If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas 'cos I ain't ever anything but broke

Now every year the malls are just a madhouse

Full of empty pockets thoughts and smiles

Just the smell of Eggnog makes me vomit

And those colored lights are fuckin' infantile

I think we collectively as a people should rise against this corporate jolly noise

And tell the world

Let's buy some peace and quiet for a change

Before we spend it all on fuckin' toys

Hah

So if I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas

You know where to stick those jingle bells

If I ain't hammered it ain't Hanukkah

Fah la la la la go fuck yourself

If I ain't cockeyed it ain't Kwanzaa

Joy to the world of gettin' stoned

If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas

So leave this goddamn Scrooge the fuck alone

Hah

Merry fuckin' Christmas

Hi Simon