Karaoké I'm Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate Our Home David Frizzell

I came crawling home last night like many nights before

I finally made it to my feet as she opened up the door

And she said you're not gonna do this anymore

She said I'm gonna hire a wino to decorate our home

So you'll feel more at ease here and you won't have to roam

We'll take out the dining room table

And put a bar along that wall

And a neon sign to point the way to our bathroom down the hall

She said just bring your Friday paycheck and I'll cash them all right here

And I'll keep on tap for all your friends their favorite kinds of beer

And for you I'll always keep in stock those soft aluminum cans

And when you're feeling macho you can crush them like a man

She said we'll rip out all the carpet and put sawdust on the floor

Serve hard boiled eggs and pretzels and I won't cook no more

There'll be Monday night football on TV above the bar

And a pay phone in the hallway when your friends can't find their car

She said I'm gonna hire a wino to decorate our home

So you'll feel more at ease here and you won't have to roam

We'll take out the dining room table

And put a bar along that wall

And a neon sign to point the way to our bathroom down the hall

She said you'll get friendly service and for added atmosphere

I'll slip on something sexy and I'll cut it clear to here

Then you can slap my bottom every time you tell a joke

Just as long as you keep tipping well I'll laugh until you're broke

She said instead of family quarrels we'll have a bar-room brawl

When the Ham's bear say's it's closing time you won't have far to crawl

And when you run out of money you'll have me to thank

You can sleep it off next morning when I'm putting it in the bank

She said I'm gonna hire a wino to decorate our home

So you'll feel more at ease here and you won't have to roam

Then when you and your friends get off from work and you have a powerful thirst

Well there won't be any reason why you can't stop off here first

She said I'm gonna' hire a wino to decorate our home

So you'll feel more at ease here and you won't need to roam

We'll take out the dining room table and put a bar along that wall

And a neon sign to point the way to our bathroom down the hall

She said I'm gonna' hire a wino to decorate our home

So you'll feel more at ease here and you won't need to roam

We'll take out the dining room table and put a bar along that wall

And a neon sign to point the way to our bathroom down the hall