Karaoké Falling Apart Death Becomes Her

Is that Madeline Ashton

How much wine have you had

She looks old enough to be

Madeline Ashton's mother

I can't breathe

God I need a Xanax

An avalanche of Xanax

Help the sky is spinning

Hel is here looking like a model

How did she

God I wanna throttle her perfect little reconstructed neck

The industry deserts me

She did this to hurt me

Now that plain brunette says I look old enough to be

My own mo-

My own mo-

My own mo-

Mother ha ha ha

What is this godforsaken twilight zone

Gotta get my agent on the phone

I gotta fix, wait, Hel, Ernest

All my life

Helen was at best a four

Now she's glowing in Dior

Meanwhile my tits are on the floor

Oh God

It's all falling apart

Ho ho oh ho ho oh ho

Hel why they just

I'm a two-time

Oscar-nominated actress

Damnit

Now I'm out of practice

Damnit

Why does no one want me

I'm still here

Ready as I've ever been

But my skin is drooping down

I can't have cameras zooming in

I gotta nip and tuck and fill and freeze and Restylane the lips and Juvederm the knees

Fix the bits, lift the tits

Try to hide the scars

Still it all keeps falling apart

Oh ho oh ho oh oh oh

Woah oh ho ho

All I wanted was a simple life

Someone to hold at night while my husband sleeps downstairs

The kind of fame that makes you scared to go outside

A sassy butler who's on call

Tiny gowns because I'm small

And that sweet enchanting feeling of knowing that everything I did made Helen jealous

Do you have your ticket ma'am

Ma'am

I'm a goddamn ingenue

Do you know who you're talking to

I am, quote

Madeline Ashton

A stunning delight in an otherwise disappointing franchise

End quote

And who are you

Let me tell you something Chance

Chance

I hope you enjoy being young and a man in Hollywood

Because I have to sleep upside-down every night like a bat just to give my body a break from gravity

You smug weak young, smooth, supple youthful skin

Give it to me

Give me your skin

Oh I don't wanna hurt you

I just want your skin

Must stop time

Gotta get the years erased

Gotta get a brand-new face

Madeline stop

Pull yourself together ugh

Where is Ernest

Bet he's under Helen's spell

If he still loves her just as well

Go get her Ernest, go to Hel

You never loved me anyway

Who even loves me anyway

Rejuvenation awaits you

I will not disappear

I'll show them I'm still here

I will not break or fade to black

I swear I'll make my comeback

Wrinkled, wrinkled, little star

Remind them who the fuck you are

Madeline Ashton will not fall apart