Karaoké The Real Slim Shady Eminem

Shh

May I have your attention please?

May I have your attention please?

Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

I repeat

Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

We're gonna have a problem here

Y'all act like you never seen a white person before

Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy

Just burst in the door and started whooping her ass worse than before they first were divorced

Throwing her over furniture

It's the return of the

Ah wait, no way, you're kidding

He didn't just say

What I think he did, did he?

And Doctor Dre said

Nothing, you idiots

Doctor Dre's dead

He's locked in my basement

Feminist women love Eminem

Chigga chigga chigga

Slim Shady I'm sick of him

Look at him walking around grabbing his you-know-what flipping the you-know-who yeah but he's so cute though

Yeah I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose

But no worse than what's going on in your parents' bedrooms

Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose but can't

But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose

My bum is on your lips

My bum is on your lips

And if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss

And that's the message that we deliver to little kids

And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is

Of course they gonna know what intercourse is by the time they hit fourth grade

They got the Discovery Channel

Don't they?

We ain't nothing but mammals well some of us cannibals

Who cut other people open like cantaloupes

But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes

Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope

But if you feel like I feel

I got the antidote

Women wave your pantyhose sing the chorus and it goes

'Cos I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady

Please stand up

Please stand up

Please stand up

'Cos I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady

Please stand up

Please stand up

Please stand up

Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records

Well I do so fuck him and fuck you too

You think I give a damn about a Grammy?

Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me

But Slim what if you win?

Wouldn't it be weird?

Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?

So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?

Yo shit Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs

So I can sit next to

Carson Daly and Fred Durst

And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first

Little bitch put me on blast on MTV

Yeah he's cute but I think he's married to Kim hee-hee

I should download her audio on MP3

And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD

I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me so I have been sent here to destroy you

And there's a million of us just like me who cuss like me who just don't give a fuck like me

Who dress like me walk talk and act like me

It just might be the next best thing but not quite me

'Cos I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady

Please stand up

Please stand up

Please stand up

'Cos I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady

Please stand up

Please stand up

Please stand up

I'm like a head trip to listen to 'cos I'm only giving you things you joke about with your friends inside your living room

The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all

I just get on the mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it I just shit it

Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums

Like valiums it's funny 'cos at the rate

I'm going when I'm thirty

I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting

Pinching nurses asses when

I'm jacking off with Jergens

And I'm jerking but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working

And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking

He could be working at Burger King spitting on your onion rings

Or in the parking lot circling screaming I don't give a fuck with his windows down and his system up

So will the real Shady please stand up?

And put one of those fingers on each hand up?

And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control

And one more time loud as you can how does it go

I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady

Please stand up

Please stand up

Please stand up

'Cos I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady

Please stand up

Please stand up

Please stand up

'Cos I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady

Please stand up

Please stand up

Please stand up

'Cos I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady

Please stand up

Please stand up

Please stand up

Ah ah

Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us

Fuck it

Let's all stand up