Karaoké The Hammer Matilda The Musical (Bertie Carvel & Lauren Ward)

Look at these trophies, see how my trophies gleam

In the sunlight

See how they shine

What do you think it took to become English

Hammer-Throwing Champion

Nineteen sixty-nine

Do you think in that moment when my big moment came

That I treated the rules with casual disdain

Well like hell

As I stepped up to the circle did I change my plan

Mmh

What

As I chalked up my palms

Did I wave my hands

I did not

As I started my spin did I look at the view

Did I drift off and dream for a minute or two

Do you think I faltered or amended my rotation

Do you think I altered my intended elevation

As the hammer took off did I change my grunt from the grunt I had practiced for many a month

Not a jot, not a dot did I stray from the plot

Not a detail of my throw was adjusted or forgotten

Not even when the hammer left my hands and sailed high up

Up above the stands

Did I let myself go

No no no no no no no no

No no no no no

No

If you want to throw the hammer for your country you have to stay inside the circle all the time

And if you want to make the team you don't need happiness or self-esteem

You just need to keep your feet inside the line

Sing children

Two three four

If you want to throw the hammer for your country you have to stay inside the circle all the time

And if you want to teach success you don't use sympathy or tenderness

You have to force the little squits to toe the line

Sing Jenny

Two three four

If you want to throw the hammer for your country you have to stay inside the circle all the time

I apply just one simple rule to a hammer-throwing life at school

Life's a ball so learn to throw it

Find the bally line and toe it

And always keep your feet inside the line

Now get out