Karaoké Deerslayer Ray Stevens

Well late one night while drivin' home

I stopped to use a roadside phone

To call my wife and tell her I's headed back

When somewhere out of that mist and fog came a big deer runnin' from a pack of dogs

And that deer ran right into the side of my Cadillac

Well it cracked like thunder when he banged his head

And the deer fell over and I thought he was dead and it spooked the dogs and they ran off back into the woods

So I picked that deer up by his feet

And layed him out real neat in my backseat

And I'm thinkin' some venison stew might taste real good

Yeah that head'll look real good up on the wall

What with those big antlers and all, Mmh-mmh

Well I started to put my car in drive

When son of a gun he came alive

Kickin' and a snortin' in the back of my Cadillac

Breakin' windows and smashin' doors

I'm not gonna say what he did on the floor

And then he jumped on the seat and stomped up and down my back

Well I was just tryin' to stay alive so I jumped out and left the deer inside

Ran to the phone so

I could call nine-one-one

And then I heard a noise and I froze in my tracks

Sounded like those dogs might be comin' back and I looked up and sho 'nuff here they come

Now leadin' that pack was a big ol' hound with his ears a floppin' and his nose to the ground

And I knew he wouldn't like me stealin' his deer

Now that deer had his antlers up through the sunroof

And I'm climbin' up the telephone booth when that dog jumped up and bit me on the rear

Help gimme the police

Thank God for nine-one-one

Somebody get on out here quick and be sure to bring your gun

I got hound dogs nippin' at my heels and Bambi's wreckin' my Coup De Ville

Help gimme the police

Thank God for nine-one-one

Well those hound dogs held us both at bay 'til the police came and chased 'em away

And then they said

Buddy you can drop that phone now and come on down

We can't think of any rhyme or reason for you havin' that deer cos' it's out of season

I think we better all just go see the judge back in town

Well, well, well you see yer honor

I, I'd just like to mention, uh that deer was in bad need of medical attention

And uh, uh, uh would you believe

I, I's takin' him to the vet, uh-uh

He said thirty days and you do it again and I'll lock you up 'til Lord knows when

And teach you a lesson you never will forget uh-uh

Now my Cadillac's a total wreck

I got hoof prints all over my back and dog bites on my toes and up my shins, uh

Yeah my wife's run off

My job is gone

And I'm here in the jailhouse all alone

And I know one thing

I will never say again

Help gimme the police

Thank God for nine-one-one

Somebody get on out here quick and be sure to bring your gun

I got hound dogs nippin' at my heels and Bambi's wreckin' my Coup De Ville

Help gimme the police

Thank God for nine-one-one

I tell you one thing

From now on road kill is off my menu

At least from now on

I'll make sure it's dead not just playin' possum, uh

Venison stew, uh

I'll take chicken noodle soup any day, hee hee

Barbecue is good too and sausage, hey

Jimmy Dean is my hero

Whoa