Karaoké Sittin' Up with the Dead Ray Stevens

Well out in the country we didn't have mortuaries

And so it was always customary

For the undertaker to do his job

And lay your kin out right there at home

Yeah, the church would loan ya foldin' chairs

And you'd have visitation and everything right there

But when the nighttime come you had to sit up with the dead 'cos it wasn't right to leave 'em alone

Well, the last time

I sat up was sixty-five when my old arthritic

Uncle Fred died

He was ninety-seven and so stooped over

The morticians couldn't straighten him out

They used a loggin' chain to hold him down

And covered that all up with a cape and a gown

And didn't tell nobody in the family

'Cos that's the kind of stuff folks just don't want to know about

Well we were all sittin' there it was three in the mornin'

And then there come up a cloud a-thunder lightnin' and stormin'

Well, that lightnin' flashed and that thunder clapped

And that chain 'round old Uncle Fred went 'snap'

And rattled and fell to the floor with a thump

And Uncle Fred just sat right up

And I ain't sittin' up with the dead no more

I don't know 'bout you

No, I ain't sittin' up with the dead no more

No matter what ya say or do

They say the dead can't hurt ya 'cos they already left

But what they left can sure make ya hurt yourself

And I ain't sittin' up with the dead no more since the dead started sittin' up too

Lord, have mercy

Ooh

Well when Uncle Fred sat up so did everyone there

There came a great partin' of the foldin' chairs

And that preacher nearly knocked me down

He said, oh, I'm headin' out that kitchen door, ha ha

Oh, Rev, that kitchen ain't got no door in it

He said, don't worry son it will have in a minute

And I ain't never seen so much jumpin' and shovin' before

And then somebody stepped on an old cat's tail

It let out a scream a screech, a wail

And to say the least that howl didn't help to calm the situation down

And then that lightnin' flashed and that house went black

And I spoke to my feets

I said, boys, make tracks

And I went out that screen door lickety split for town

Woah

Well I cut through the cemetary, fell in a hole

There was Uncle Fred's grave it was dark and cold

Yeah, the town drunk dug it and he dug it too deep

And unbeknownst to me he's still in there asleep

And I'm scratchin' and jumpin' tryin' to get out of that hole

He woke up and said

You might as well come over here and sit down beside me, boy

'Cos you ain't gettin' outta here tonight

But I did

And I ain't sittin' up with the dead no more

I don't know 'bout you

No, I ain't sittin' up with the dead no more

No matter what ya say or do

They say the dead can't hurt ya 'cos they already left

But what they left can sure make ya hurt yourself

And I ain't sittin' up with the dead no more since the dead started sittin' up too

Wasn't no sense in nobody sittin' up with Uncle Fred anyhow

Uncle Fred done be gonna sittin' up with his own self

Next time, I'm just gonna send flowers

Yeah