Karaoké Choctaw Bingo Ray Wylie Hubbard

Strap them kids in

Give 'em a little bit of vodka in a

Cherry Coke, we're goin' to

Oklahoma to the

Family reunion for the first time in years, it's up at

Uncle Slatons 'cos he's gettin' on in years

You know he no longer travels but he's still pretty spry

He's not much on talkin'

He's just too mean to die

And they'll be comin' down from Kansas and from west Arkansas

It'll be one big ol' party like you've never saw

Uncle Slaton's got his

Texan pride

Back in the thickets with his Asian bride

He's got an

Airstream trailer and a

Holstein cow

He still makes whiskey 'cos he still knows how

He plays that

Choctaw bingo every Friday night

You know he had to leave

Texas but he

He won't say why

He owns a

Quarter section up by

Lake Ufalla, caught a great big ol' bluecat on a driftin' jugline, sells his

Hardwood timber to the chippin' mill

Cooks that crystal meth 'cos his shine don't sell

He cooks that crystal meth 'cos his shine don't sell

You know he

He likes that money

He don't mind the smell

My cousin Roscoe

Slaton's oldest boy

From his second marriage up in

Illinois

He's raised in East Saint Louis by his

Mamma's people where they

Do things different

Thought he'd just come on down

He was goin' to

Dallas Texas in a semi truck

Caught from that big McDonalds

You know the one that's built on that

Great big ol' bridge across the

Will Rogers turnpike, took the big cabin exit stopped and bought a carton of cigarettes at that

Indian smoke shop with the big neon smoke rings

In the Cherokee nation hit Muskogee late that night

Somebody ran the stoplight at the

Shawnee bypass

Roscoe tried to miss him but he didn't quite

Bob and Mae come up from some little town way down by

Lake Texoma where he coaches football

They were two-A champions now for two years runnin'

But he says they won't be this year, no they won't be this year

And he stopped off in Tuska at that pop knife and gun place

Bought a SKS rifle and a

A couple full cases of that steel core ammo with the

Berdan primers

From some east bloc nation that no longer needs 'em and a

Desert eagle that's one great big ol' pistol

I mean

Fifty caliber made by badass Hebrews and some

Surplus tracers for that ol' BAR of Slaton's

Soon as it gets dark we're gonna have us some time, we're gonna have us some time

Ruth-Anne and Lynn come down from

Baxter springs, that's one

Hell-raisin' town way up in

Southeastern Kansas

Got a biker bar next to the lingerie store

That's got the Rolling Stones lips up there in bright pink neon and they're

Right downtown where everyone can see 'em and they

Burn all night

You know they burn all night

They burn all night

Ruth-Anne and Lynn they wear them cut off britches

And them skinny little halters

And they're second cousins to me

Man I don't care I wanna get between 'em with a great big ol' hard-on

Like a ol' Bois d'Arc fence post

You could hang a pipe rail gate from

Do some sister-twistin'

'Till the cows come home

You know we'll have us a time

We're gonna have us a time

Uncle Slaton's got his

Texan pride

Back in the thickets with his Asian bride

He cut that corner pasture into acre lots

He sells them owner financed strictly to them

That's got no kind of credit 'cos he knows they're slackers

And they'll miss that payment

And he

He takes it back

He plays that

Choctaw bingo every Friday night

He drinks his

Johnny Walker at that

Club Sixty-Nine

We're gonna strap them kids in and give 'em a little bit of Benadryl in a

Cherry Coke

We're goin' to

Oklahoma, gonna

Have us a time

Gonna have us a time

Ah