Karaoké Shia LaBeouf Live Rob Cantor

You're walking in the woods

There's no one around and your phone is dead

Out of the corner of your eye you spot him

He's following you about thirty feet back

He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint

He's gaining on you

You're looking for your car but you're all turned around

He's almost upon you now

And you can see there's blood on his face

My God there's blood everywhere

Running for your life from Shia LaBeouf

He's brandishing a knife

It's Shia LaBeouf

Lurking in the shadows

Hollywood superstar

Shia LaBeouf

Living in the woods

Shia LaBeouf

Killing for sport

Shia LaBeouf

Eating all the bodies

Actual cannibal

Shia LaBeouf

Now it's dark and you seem to have lost him

But you're hopelessly lost yourself

Stranded with a murderer

You creep silently through the underbrush

Ah ha

In the distance

A small cottage with a light on

Hope

You move stealthily toward it but your leg

Ah it's caught in a bear trap

Gnawing off your leg

Limping to the cottage

Now you're on the doorstep

Sitting inside

Shia LaBeouf

Sharpening an ax

Shia LaBeouf

But he doesn't hear you enter

Shia LaBeouf

You're sneaking up behind him

Strangling superstar

Shia LaBeouf

Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf

Wrestling a knife from Shia LaBeouf

Stab it in his kidney

Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf

You limp into the dark woods blood oozing from your stump leg

You've beaten

Shia LaBeouf

Wait

He isn't dead

Shia Surprise

There's a gun to your head and death in his eyes

But you can do Jiu Jitsu

Body Slam superstar

Shia LaBeouf

Legendary fight with Shia LaBeouf

Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBeouf

You try to swing an axe at Shia LaBeouf but blood is draining fast from your stump leg

He's dodging every swipe

He parries to the left

You counter to the right

You catch him in the neck

You're chopping off his head now

You have just decapitated

Shia LaBeouf

His head topples to the floor expressionless

You fall to your knees and catch your breath

You're finally safe from Shia LaBeouf