Karaoké Jackie Scott Walker

And if one day I should become a singer with a Spanish bum who sings for women of great virtue

I'd sing to them with a guitar

I borrowed from a coffee bar

Well what you don't know doesn't hurt you

My name would be Antonio and all my bridges I would burn

And when I gave them some they'd know

I'd expect something in return

I'd have to get drunk every night and talk about virility

With some old grandmother who might be decked out like a Christmas tree

And though pink elephants I'd see

Though I'd be drunk as I could be

Still I would sing my song to me about the time they called me Jackie

If I could be for only an hour

If I could be for an hour every day

If I could be for just one little hour

A cute cute in a stupid-ass way

And if I joined the social whirl

Became procurer of young girls then I would have my own bordellos

My record would be number one and I'd sell records by the ton all sung by many other fellows

My name would then be

Handsome Jack and I'd sell boats of opium

Whiskey that came from Twickenham

Authentic queers and phony virgins

If I had banks on every finger

A finger in every country and all the countries ruled by me

I'd still know where I'd wanna be

Locked up inside my opium den surrounded by some china men

I'd sing the song that I sang then about the time they called me Jackie

If I could be for only an hour

If I could be for an hour every day

If I could be for just one little hour

A cute cute in a stupid-ass way

Now tell me wouldn't it be nice that if one day in paradise

I'd sing for all the ladies up there

And they would sing along with me

We'd be so happy there to be 'cos down below is really nowhere

And if my name were Juniper then I would know where I was going

And then I would become all knowing

My beard so very long and flowing

If I became deaf, dumb and blind because I pitied all mankind

And broke my heart to make things right

I'd know that every single night

When my angelic work was through the angels and the Devil too

Would sing my childhood song to me about the time they called me Jackie

If I could be for only an hour

If I could be for an hour every day

If I could be for just one little hour

A cute cute in a stupid-ass way