Karaoké The Transit Van Seamus Moore

Margaret Thatcher talking on TV

Looks so sincere as she says to me

There'd be no unemployment if you all use a bit of initiative

I was on the dole

I was broke and bored

Says aye I'll take her at her word

Got a loan from a credit union man

And I bought myself a Transit Van

My next step up the ladder now

I bought myself an old fat sow

Crossed the border quite legally

Collected a common market subsidy

Signed all the form and gave back the pen

Smuggled a sow back home again

Ten times a day I'd work this plan

Myself and the sow and the Transit Van

Travel sickness the sow picked up

Says aye it's time to diversify

Took all my money for the biscuit tin

Filled the van to the roof with whiskey and gin

Around the south my wares I'd sell in public houses and hotels

There was never a guard nor a customs man

Put his nose inside of the Transit Van

At festivals and fleadhs and fair

If the craic was good you'd find me there

At all big matches in Croke Park

And I danced with

Springsteen in the dark

I fought with the tinkers in Ballinasloe

I danced on the streets around Listowel

Mothers had there daughters warned

Stay well away from the Transit Van

It being lent and the drink trade slow

I changed to carrying video

When on the road to Ballybay found a customs roadblock in my way

Faced the border I got her turned

The engine roared and the tires burned

Five patrol cars fully maned were in hot pursuit of the Transit Van

Through Clontibret I did go

I was heading for the County Mayo

Round a corner I hit a dog

Went over the ditch landed in the bog

I sat on a bank watched all I owned

Sinking in the bog hole like a stone

She was lying on the roof with the wheels still turning

And the stereo playing Daniel O'Donnell

Now I'm back where I first began

No job no money but I've a plan

There's a girl down in Mullingar

She can hold my future in her hand

She doesn't look like a film star

But she's been telling me about her dad

He has no property or land but he has two sows and a Transit Van

The Queen of England drives a Rolls Royce car

Her son Charlie has a Jaguar

But when the pope came to Ireland like myself

He drove around in a Transit Van