Karaoké Hard to Be the Bard Something Rotten! (musical) (Christian Borle)

My days are so busy it's making me dizzy

There's so much I gotta do

There's lunches and meetings and poetry readings and endless interviews

Gotta pose for a portrait and how I deplore sittin' there for eternity

Then it's off to the inn where my innkeeper friend wants to name a drink after me

Then it's back to my room where I resume my attempt to write a hit

Just me and my beer and the terrible fear that I might be losing it

And it's hard

It's hard

It's really, really hard

So very, very hard

I make it look easy but honey believe me it's hard

It's hard

It's so incredibly hard

So inconceivably unbelievably hard

It's hard to be the bard

Honestly

I don't know how I do it

There's only so much of me to go around

I've got so many fans with so many demands

I can hardly go take a piss

Be it theater freak or the autograph-seeker

They all want a piece of this

It's a cross that I bear

I'm like Jesus I swear

It's a burden but

I suffer through it

It's all part of the game

The trappings of fame

But somebody's gotta do it

And I know, I know

I gotta go and get back to my pen and ink

Oh don't make me do it

Don't make me go through it

Can somebody get me a drink

'Cos it's hard

It's hard

It's really, really hard

It's sexy but it's hard

This bar that I'm raising to be this amazing

It's hard

It's hard

It's so annoyingly hard

So unavoidably un-enjoyably hard

It's hard to be the bard baby

Ugh I know writing made me famous but being famous is just so much more fun

You see what people just don't understand

Is that writing's demanding

It's mentally challenging

And it's a bore

It's such a chore to sit in a room by yourself

Oh my God I just hate it

And you're trying to find an opening line or a brilliant idea and you're pacing the floor

And hoping for

For just a bit of divine intervention

That one little nugget

That one little spark

Then Eureka, You find it

You're ready to start

So now you can write, right

Wrong

You're not even close

You remember that, damn it

Your play's gotta be in iambic pentameter

So you write down a word but it's not the right word

So you try a new word but you hate the new word

And you need a good word but you can't find the word

Oh where is it, what is it

What is it, where is it

Blah blah blah blah blah blah

Blah blah blah

Blah ha ha ha ha hh hh

Sir

Hello

You asked for information on what Nicholas Bottom is writing

Our spy is here with the news

Did he see me losing it

Oh good then he only saw

He's half blind sir half of it

You see what I did

Oh yes, yes, yes wonderful ha ha

Ha ha

Speak man, what news

I saw Nick Bottom, I did

He paid a soothsayer to foresee what Shakespeare's greatest play would be

That sneaky little thief

Why doesn't he come up with his own ideas

No it is isn't it

It's really the worst

Makes me wonder why

I didn't think of that first

Hard to alleviate the pressure to create

Hard to do something as good as the last thing I did that was already great

It's hard

Well I'll hoist him by his petard

All that I need is a clever disguise

I'll make him pay for his devious lies

Let him do all the tedious stuff

The work that's terribly and unbearably hard

Alright Nick Bottom

I think Shakespeare needs to find out what Shakespeare's next big hit will be

'Cos it's hard

It's hard

It's hard

Fortune and fame

Everyone knows my name

I can't help it

It's still freaking hard