Karaoké You Won't Succeed on Broadway Spamalot (musical)

Have you heard of this

Broadway

Yes sire and we don't stand a chance there

Why not

Because

Broadway is a very special place

Filled with very special people

People who can sing and dance

Often at the same time

They are a different people

A multi-talented people

A people who need people

And who are in many ways the luckiest people in the world

I'm sorry sire we don't have a chance

But why

Well let me put it like this

In any great adventure if you don't want to lose

Victory depends upon the people that you choose

So listen Arthur darling closely to this news

We won't succeed on Broadway if we don't have any Jews

You may have the finest sets

Fill the stage with

Penthouse Pets

You may have the loveliest costumes and best shoes

You may dance and you may sing

But I am sorry Arthur king

You'll hear no cheers

Just lots and lots of boos

You may have butch men by the score

Whom the audience adore

You may even have some animals from zoos

Though you've Poles and Krauts instead

You may have unleavened bread

But I tell you you are dead if you don't have any Jews

They won't care if it's witty or everything looks pretty

They'll simply say it's shitty and refuse

Nobody will go sir

If it's not Kosher then no show sir

Even Goyim won't be dim enough to choose

Put on shows that make men stare with lots of girls in underwear

You may even have the finest of reviews

The audiences won't care sir as long as you don't dare sir to open up on Broadway if we don't have any Jews

You may have dramatic lighting or lots of horrid fighting

You may even have some white men sing the blues

Your knights may be nice boys but sadly we're all goys

And that noise that you call singing you must lose

So despite your pretty lights and naughty girls in nasty tights

And the most impressive scenery you use

You may have dancing man a mano

You may bring on a piano

But they will not give a damn-o if you don't have any Jews

Hey

Ho oy

Ho oy

You may fill your plays with gays

Have Nigerian girls in stays

You haven't got a clue

If you don't have a Jew all of your investments you are going to lose

There's a very small percentile who enjoys a dancing gentile

I'm sad to be the one with this bad news

But never mind your swordplay

You just won't succeed on Broadway

You just won't succeed on Broadway if you don't have any Jews

Arthur can you hear me

To get along on Broadway

To sing a song on Broadway

To hit the top on Broadway and not lose

I tell you Arthur king

There is one essential thing

There simply must be

Simply must be Jews

Hey

There simply must be

Arthur trust me

Simply must be Jews