Karaoké Baby (live at Symphony Space in New York) Stephen Lynch

This is for my little girl

My lady gives birth today

I run to her room right away

She smiles with glee then hands her to me

I look at my newborn and say

Damn that's a ugly baby

Damn that's a ugly ass baby

I'm feeling quite concerned

My semen must've turned 'cos damn that's an ugly baby

I can't believe this came from me

I think her mom did too much

LSD

She's skinny like a twig

At least her nuts are big but the placenta is cuter than she

Yeah damn that's a ugly baby

God damn that's a ugly ass baby

I can't take her home today

She'll scare the dog away 'cos damn that's a ugly baby

And when she smiles I find

Shane McGowan comes to mind

It makes me want to cry when I look into her good eye

I always wanted kids

Is it wrong to hope for sids

Fuck you it's my fuckin' baby

Then the doctor calls me in

Mister Lynch she has a twin

Damn that's a good lookin' baby

One for two on the good lookin' babies

I almost start to weep

Now this one we can keep 'cos that was an ugly ass

Damn that's an ugly baby

Come on everybody sing along

Damn that's an ugly ba-

Sing fuckers come on

Damn that's an ugly baby

Wooh

Damn that's an ugly baby

She's got one good tooth and one ear and one eye and thank God just one nose but it's on her left thigh

Now doctor I'm askin' you guy to guy

Would a really, really, really late term abortion still fly

Oh no my baby not me

I don't want no ugly baby

I said damn that's an ugly baby

Damn that's an ugly ass baby