Karaoké Charlie's Inferno That Handsome Devil

Here lies Charlie uh ahem

You can tell it's him 'cos we put his name on the stone

He kept his showers ice cold

Used eco-friendly lightbulbs

Rode his bicycle to work when the gasoline price rose

He'd judge with no pretense

Fish on the weekends

Each mornin', get up

Do the Pledge of Allegiance

Never swim in the ocean for fear of shark attacks

Bi-monthly get his wife a rose with a card attached

Avoidin' all the little things that were hard to ask

Had a car crash, cardiac arrest

Died of a heart attack

Golden escalator

All his friends and neighbors

Huddled there in prayer around the respirator

Catch you later

I'm off to see the man upstairs

They all look like ants from here

Stars and crystal chandeliers

There was an angel at the entrance

Checkin' off a guest list

Charlie wasn't on it and was ushered to the exit

His heart sank

He was breathless

Excuse me sir

There must be someone you've confused me for

If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform

I go to church on Sunday

Truly usually more

Screamin' at the angels while they pushed him through the door

Excuse me sir

There must be someone you've confused me for

If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform

I go to church on Sunday

Truly usually more

Screamin' at the angels while they pushed him through the door

Abandon all hope all ye who enter

It was a horrifyin' sign but sounded like a neat adventure

Far beyond the halos and the castles in the clouds

Fatsos squealin' shackled with some apples in their mouths

Attention whores in padded bras hangin' from extension cords

Tortured with the products from their favorite catalogs

Here we buy and sell a million kinds of Hell

Imagination is the limit to the devil's clientele

Up a dingy elevator

No televised debate

Will save you, save you from the Hell you paid for

Sorry but it's Smell you later

Side-stepped fate

Went right for the gate

But you know the devil he loves a good chase

There was a demon at the entrance makin' X's on a checklist

Who would kick you in the ass when you begged him for repentance

Those tempted by the senses with the cruelest of intentions

Charlie's heart sank

He was breathless

Excuse me sir

There must be someone you've confused me for

If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform

I really don't belong here

I know you've heard the tune before

Screamin' at the demons while they pushed him through the door

Excuse me sir

There must be someone you've confused me for

If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform

I really don't belong here

I know you've heard the tune before

Screamin' at the demons while they pushed him through the door

You can run from your demons until you are exhausted

One day you will have to stop and find out what they wanted

Keep on runnin' from those demons until you are exhausted

You can run to those angels until you are exhausted

One day you will have to stop and question what they wanted

Keep on runnin' to those angels until you are exhausted

Excuse me sir

There must be someone you've confused me for

If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform

I really don't belong here

I know you've heard the tune before

Excuse me sir

There must be someone you've confused me for

If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform

I really don't belong here

I know you've heard the tune before