Karaoké A Summer in Ohio The Last Five Years (film) (Anna Kendrick)

I could have a mansion on a hill

I could lease a villa in Seville

But it wouldn't be as nice as a summer in Ohio

With a gay midget named Karl playing Tevye and Porgy

I could wander Paris after dark

Take a carriage ride through Central Park

But it wouldn't be as nice as a summer in Ohio

Where I'm sharing a room with a former stripper and her snake

Wayne

I could have a satchel full of dollar bills

Cures for all the nation's ills

Pills to make a lion purr

I could be in line to be the British Queen

Look like I was seventeen

Still I'm certain I'd prefer to be going slowly batty forty miles east of Cincinnati

I could shove an ice pick in my eye

I could eat some fish from last July

But it wouldn't be as awful as a summer in Ohio

Without cable, hot water

Vietnamese food

Or you

I saw your book at a Border's in Kentucky under a sign that said

New and recommended

I stole a look at your picture on the inside sleeve and then I couldn't leave

Richard who was with me got uncharacteristically quiet

And he said

All things considered

I guess you don't have to buy it

So I smile like Mona Lisa and I lay my Visa down

He wants me, he wants me but he ain't gonna get me

I've found my guiding light

I tell the stars each night

Look at me

Look at him

Son of a bitch

I guess I'm doing something right

I finally got something right

No

It's not nirvana but it's on the way

I play Anita at the matinee

Then I'll get on my knees and pray I can state in my next bio

I'm never gonna go back to Ohio

I could chew on tin foil for a spell

I could get a root canal in hell

But it wouldn't be as swell as this summer is gonna be

'Cos the torture is just exquisite while I'm waiting for you to visit

So hurry up schmuck

Get unstuck and get on the scene

Love, the midget

The stripper

Wayne the snake and Mrs. Jamie Wellerstein

That's me