Karaoké Natalie's Rap The Lonely Island & Natalie Portman & Chris Parnell

We're sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman

Hello

So Natalie

What's a day in the life of Natalie Portman like

Do you really wanna know

Please tell us

I don't sleep motherfucker

Off that yak and that Durban

Doin' one-twenty

Gettin' head while I'm swervin'

Damn Natalie you a crazy chick

Yo shut the fuck up and suck my dick

I bust in dudes' mouth like gushers motherfucker

Roll up on NBC and smack the shit outta Jeff Zucker

To drink and fight

To fuck all night

Don't test me when I'm crazy on that airplane glue

Put my foot down your throat 'till you shit in my shoe

Leave you screamin'

Pay for my dry cleanin'

Fuck your man

It's my name that he's screamin'

I'm sorry Natalie

Are we to believe

That you condone driving while intoxicated

I never said I was a role model

But what about the kids that look up to you

Do you have a message for them

All the kids lookin' up to me can suck my dick

It's Portman motherfucker

Drink 'till I'm sick

Slit your throat and pour nitrous down the hole

Watch you laugh and cry

While I laugh you die

And all the dudes

You know I'm talkin' to you

I wanna fuck you too

Is for Portman

Is for pussy

I'll kill your fuckin' dog for fun so don't push me

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Well Natalie

I'm surprised

All of this from a Harvard graduate

Well there's a lot you may not know about me

Really

Uh such as

When I was in Harvard

I smoked weed every day

I cheated every test and snorted all the yay

I got a def posse

You got a buncha dudes

I sit right down on your face and take a shit

Natalie

You are a badass bitch

Hell yeah

And I always pay for your dry cleaning when my shit gets in your shoe

What

And as for the drug use well I can vouch for that

My dick is scared of you

Girl

Okie doke

Nathalie one final question

If you could steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood who would it

No more questions

What