Karaoké Hoist up the Thing The Longest Johns

Fresh out of college with grades straight from Hell

I browsed for a trade at which I could excel

An ad for a ship in need of some mannin'

Men, sails and purpose but lackin' a captain

What luck says I to find such good fortune

A few white lies later

I ran down the pier

Bought me a coat and a cutlass or two

Jumped on the deck and I yelled at the crew

Hoist up the thing

Batten down the whatsit

What's that thing spinnin'

Somebody should stop it

Turn hard to port

Now I've got it

Trust me I'm in control

I can't sing the shanties it has to be said

And all of that grog just goes right to my head

Whale meat is gross and I miss a girl's laugh

Five weeks at sea even Dave seems a catch

Hoist up the thing

Batten down the whatsit

What's that thing spinnin'

Somebody should stop it

Turn hard to port

Now I've got it

Trust me I'm in control

We've hit icy waters

No land to be seen

The food's gettin' low and the beer has gone green

There's murmurs of discontent under the deck

If I don't act fast it could be my neck

So pull up the charts and those weird gold machines

I see what it says but no clue what it means

Just pull on some levers and yank on some chains

Feign a bad back 'till we've landed again

Hoist up the thing

Batten down the whatsit

What's that thing spinnin'

Somebody should stop it

Turn hard to port

Now I've got it

Trust me I'm in control

Hoist up the thing

Batten down the whatsit

What's that thing spinnin'

Somebody should stop it

Turn hard to port

Now I've got it

Trust me I'm in control

Hoist up the thing

Batten down the whatsit

What's that thing spinnin'

Somebody should stop it

Turn hard to port

Now I've got it

Trust me I'm in control

Hoist up the thing

Batten down the whatsit

What's that thing spinnin'

Somebody should stop it

Turn hard to port

Now I've got it

Trust me I'm in control

Trust me I'm in control