Karaoké Ya Got Trouble The Music Man (1957 musical) (Robert Preston)

A pool table don't you understand

Friend

Either you're closin' your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge

Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated by the presence of a pool table in your community

Wel ya got trouble my friend

Right here I say

Trouble right here in River City

Why sure I'm a billiard player

Certainly mighty proud I say

I'm always mighty proud to say it

I consider that the hours I spend with a cue in my hand are golden

Help you cultivate horse sense and a cool head and a keen eye

D'you ever take and try to find an iron-clad leave to yourself from a three-rail billiard shot

But just as I say it takes judgement, brains and maturity to score in a balkline game

I say that any boob can take and shove a ball in a pocket

And they call that sloth

The first big step on the road to the depths of deg-ra-day

I say first medicinal wine from a teaspoon then beer from a bottle

And the next thing ya know your son is playin' for money in a pinch-back suit

And listenin' to some big out-a-town Jasper hearin' him tell about horse-race gamblin'

Not a wholesome trottin' race no but a race where they set down right on the horse

Like to see some stuck-up jockey boy

Settin' on Dan Patch

Make your blood boil

Well I should say

Now friends lemme tell you what I mean

Ya got one, two, three, four five, six pockets in a table

Pockets that mark the difference between a gentlemen and a bum

With a capital B and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pool

And all week long your River City youth'll be fritterin' away I say your young men'll be fritterin'

Fritterin' away their noontime suppertime, choretime too

Get the ball in the pocket

Never mind gettin' dandelions pulled or the screen door patched or the beefsteak pounded

Never mind pumpin' any water 'till your parents are caught with the cistern empty on a Saturday night

And that's trouble

Yes you got lots and lots of trouble

I'm thinkin' of the kids in the knickerbockers

Shirt-tail young ones

Peekin' in the pool hall window after school

Ya got trouble folks right here in River City

Trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pool

Now I know all you folks are the right kind of parents

I'm gonna be perfectly frank

Would ya like to know what kinda conversation goes on while they're loafin' around that Hall

They be tryin' out Bevo

Tryin' out cubebs

Tryin' out Tailor Mades like cigarette fiends

And braggin' all about how they're gonna cover up a tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen

One fine night they leave the pool hall

Headin' for the dance at the Armory

Libertine men and Scarlet women and Rag-time shameless music

That'll grab your son

Your daughter

With the arms of a jungle animal instinct

Mass-staria

Friends the idle brain is the devil's playground

Trouble right here in River City

With a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pool

We've surely got trouble right here in River City

Gotta figure out a way to keep the young ones moral after school

Mothers of River City

Heed that warnin' before it's too late

Watch for the tell-tale signs of corruption

The minute your son leaves the house does he re-buckle his knickerbockers below the knee

Is there a nicotine stain on his index finger

A dime novel hidden in the corn crib

Is he startin' to memorize jokes from Capitain Billy's Whiz Bang

Are certain words creepin' into his conversation

Words like

Swell

And So's your old man

Well if so my friends ya got trouble right here in River City

With a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pool

We've surely got trouble right here in River City

Remember the Maine

Plymouth Rock and the Golden Rule

Oh ho we got trouble

We're in terrible, terrible trouble

That game with the fifteen numbered balls is a devil's tool

Yes we got trouble

Trouble, trouble

With a T

Gotta rhyme it with P and that stands for Pool