Karaoké Town Meeting Song L'Étrange Noël de Monsieur Jack

Listen everyone

There were objects so peculiar

They were not to be believed

All around things to tantalize my brain

It's a world unlike anything I've ever seen

And as hard as I try

I can't seem to describe like a most improbable dream

But you must believe when I tell you this

It's as real as my skull and it does exist

Here

Let me show you

This is a thing called a present

The whole thing starts with a box

A box

Is it steel

Are there locks

Is it filled with a pox

A pox

How delightful, a pox

If you please

Just a box with bright-colored paper

And the whole thing's topped with a bow

A bow

But why

How ugly

What's in it, what's in it

That's the point of the thing

Not to know

It's a bat

Will it bend

It's a rat

Will it break

Perhaps it's the head that I found in the lake

Listen now

You don't understand

That's not the point of Christmas land

Now pay attention

We pick up an oversized sock and hang it like this on the wall

Oh yes

Does it still have a foot

Let me see, let me look

Is it rotted and covered with gook

Um let me explain

There's no foot inside but there's candy

Or sometimes it's filled with small toys

Small toys

Do they bite

Do they snap

Or explode in a sack

Or perhaps they just spring out and scare girls and boys

What a splendid idea

This Christmas sounds fun

I fully endorse it

Let's try it at once

Everyone please

Now not so fast

There's something here that you don't quite grasp

Well

I may as well give them what they want

And the best I must confess

I've saved for the last

For the ruler of this

Christmas land

Is a fearsome king with a deep mighty voice

Least that's what I've come to understand

And I've also heard it told that he's something to behold

Like a lobster, huge and red

And he sets out to slay with his rain gear on

Carting bulging sacks with his big great arms

That is so I've heard it said

And on a dark, cold night

Under full moonlight

He flies into a fog like a vulture in the sky

And they call him Sandy Claws

Ha ha ha

Well at least they're excited but they don't understand

That special kind of feeling in Christmas land

Oh well