Karaoké First Baptist Bar & Grill Tim Wilson

Well the church burned down and no one knew what Pentecost Baptist was gonna do

The Sunday brimstone got so dadgum hot it burned up a church bus in the parkin' lot

In a panic the reverend

Doctor White called up an ex-member that hadn't lived right

He owned Joe's beer joint right across the fence

It's the same Joe's he'd preached against

He said I don't really wanna be a hypocrite

I got a Sunday school class

It's about to fits

We're all excited about revival week and been moved by the spirit so to speak

With all the souls we saved and the money we spent we thought God told us to sell that tent

I got a famous evangelist supposed to come and done run out of chairs

Will you loan us some

Joe says Hell you can just use the whole dang place

A-Nine on the jukebox's

Amazing Grace

I ain't supposed to be open 'cos of them blue laws but I'll open tonight if it's alright with y'all

Preacher said Well I reckon it'd be okay

The good Lord works in mysterious ways

I was gonna talk about Joshua

Judges and Ruth and I reckon I could do it from the DJ booth

At the First Baptist Bar and Grill

It's the only church in the bible belt that smells like a whiskey still

When the sinners finish one more round we'll have dinner on the ground

Then go inside and hell pray we don't get killed

The evangelist came with a well-dressed choir

They showed up around happy hour

Looked around the joint and didn't take it real well

Said The White ministry has gone to hell

Miss Mills that taught youth

Sunday school and two deacons in the back room shootin' pool

Were sharin' the Lord with a Jim Beam rep who was teachin' Miss Mills some line dance steps

Reverend White was readin' from the book of Luke to a tall drunk trucker about to puke

He had John Three-Sixteen memorized tryin' to dry him out to get him baptized

The evangelist yelled about the lights and the beer

Said White you can't save any souls in here

This place ain't nothin' but a den of sin

Ain't the kind of place

Baptists ought to be in

Preacher said Well we don't really need y'all here

You didn't do a very good job last year

Only saved one sinner

That's Todd McGuire

And he's the little son of that lit my church on fire

Joe's beer joint has done been revived

Only been here an hour and I done saved five

Sure it's got mirrors and a big dance floor but I finally found the flock

God called me for

They're at the First Baptist Bar and Grill

It's the only church in the bible belt that smells like a whisky still

Not a stained glass window anywhere in sight

Just a blood-stained floor and neon lights

And the communion wine in here is always chilled

We're here every Sunday

We're livin' large

We're the only church with a cover charge

And if you don't like our doctrine and think we ain't devout we'll have our bouncer throw your butt out

Of the First Baptist Bar and Grill

Well whatever