Karaoké Barry and Freda (Let's Do It) (live) Victoria Wood

Freda and Barry sat one night the sky was clear the stars were bright

The wind was soft the moon was up

Freda drained her cocoa cup

She licked her lips she felt sublime she switched off

Gardener's Question Time

Barry cringed in fear and dread as Freda grabbed his tie and said

Let's do it let's do it do it while the mood is right

I'm feeling appealing

I've really got an appetite

I'm on fire with desire

I could handle half the tenors in a male voice choir

Let's do it let's do it tonight but he said

I can't do it

I can't do it

I don't believe in too much sex

This fashion for passion turns us into nervous wrecks

No derision my decision

I'd rather watch the Spinners on the television

I can't do it

I can't do it tonight so she said

Let's do it let's do it do it 'till our hearts go boom

Go native creative living in the living room

This folly is jolly bend me over backwards on me hostess trolley

Let's do it let's do it tonight but he said

I can't do it

I can't do it me heavy-breathing days have gone

I'm older feel colder it's other things that turn me on

I'm imploring

I'm boring let me read this catalogue on vinyl flooring

I can't do it

I can't do it tonight so she said

Let's do it let's do it have a crazy night of love

I'll strip bare

I'll just wear stilettos and an oven glove

Don't starve a girl of a palaver dangle from the wardrobe in your balaclava

Let's do it let's do it tonight but he said

I can't do it

I can't do it

I know I'll only get it wrong

Don't angle for me to dangle me arms have never been that strong

Stop pouting stop shouting you know I pulled a muscle when I did that grouting

I can't do it

I can't do it tonight

Let's do it let's do it share a night of wild romance

Frenetic poetic this could be your last big chance

To quote Milton to eat stilton to roll with gay abandon on the tufted wilton

Let's do it let's do it tonight

I can't do it

I can't do it

I've got other little jobs on hand

Don't grouse around the house

I've got a busy evening planned

Stop nagging

I'm flagging you know as well as I do that the pipes want lagging

I can't do it

I can't do it tonight

Let's do it let's do it while I'm really in the mood

Three cheers it's years since I caught you even semi-nude

Get drastic gymnastic wear your baggy Y-fronts with the loose elastic but

Let's do it let's do it tonight

I can't do it

I can't do it

I must refuse to get undressed

I feel silly it's too chilly to go without me thermal vest

Don't choose me don't use me me mother sent a note to say you must excuse me

I can't do it

I can't do it tonight

Let's do it let's do it

I feel I absolutely must

I won't exempt you want to tempt you want to drive you mad with lust

No cautions just contortions smear an avocado on me lower portions

Let's do it let's do it tonight

I can't do it

I can't do it it's really not my cup of tea

I'm harassed embarrassed

I wish you hadn't picked on me

No barter a non-starter

I feel about as sensuous as Jimmy Carter

I can't do it

I can't do it tonight

Let's do it let's do it

I really want to run amok

Let's wriggle let's jiggle let's really make the rafters rock

Be mighty be flighty come and melt the buttons on me flame-proof nightie

Let's do it let's do it tonight

Let's do it let's do it

I really want to rant and rave

Let's go 'cos I know just how I want you to behave

Not bleakly not meekly beat me on the bottom with the Woman's Weekly

Let's do it let's do it tonight