Karaoké Handy Weird Al Yankovic

First things first

I'm a craftsman

Remodellin' is my only passion

And I'm the greatest in the business

Want referrals

Yo my clientèle will bear you witness

I can help when your door jamb sticks

There is nothin' in the world

I can't fix

I do tiles, I do stone

I do bricks

Call me, I'll come rushin' over with my bag of tricks

Where you go when your disposal is rusted

Termite problem makin' you disgusted

When your front window is busted

Just one name that's always trusted

I'm so handy

You already know

I'll fix your plumbin' when your toilets overflow

I'm so handy

I'll bring you up to code when your dishwasher's about to explode

Now you say that your furnace is needin' some service

I'm fully bonded

No need to be nervous

Perhaps you would like a new counter Formica

Maybe I'll hook up this here combo washer-dryer

But all your pipes are antique

Your water pressure's too weak

You got an attic full of dry rot 'cos your roof sprung a leak

Your fridge is startin' to reek

Your hardwood floors really squeak

But don't you worry

I'll just show you my amazin' technique

Now let me glue that, glue that and screw that, screw that

Any random chore you got well I can do that, do that

Or maybe I'll just rewire your house for fun

I got ninety-nine problems but a switch ain't one

I'm so handy

Everyone said so

I'll grout your bathroom

Resurface your patio

I'm so handy

I'm the guy to know when your leaf blower doesn't blow

Patch the drywall

Clean your gutters and mow the lawn

Make that phone call

I'll install anything you want

Yeah check my big staple gun

My socket wrenches are second to none

I won't quit 'till I'm done

Don't even care if

I hammer my thumb

Still rockin' my screwdriver

Got the whole world thinkin' I'm MacGyver

Your heatin' bills are shockin'

I can solve that with some duct tape and some caulkin'

Your house is a disaster huh

Need a guy who's a master with the plaster huh

Let me be your stripper

Takin' off lacquer

No one does it quicker

I'm so handy

You already know

I'll beat all price quotes

My hourly rates are low

I'm so handy

You should call this pro

I'm in the phone book and se habla español